its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
