Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Mom said you looked used
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
