Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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