It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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