If i come over, it means nothing
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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