I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
