check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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