her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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