i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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