im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
