I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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