Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
