Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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