we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
