He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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