So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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