you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
