She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
