:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
