I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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