Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
