I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
should my penis look like a turkey
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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