Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
