R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
lets start a swedish sibling band together
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
