Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
