i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
