Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
