So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
