Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
