How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
