we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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