she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
