so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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