I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
