it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
