I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
