the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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