tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My penis needs a shock collar
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I supernannyed him into submission
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
