Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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