so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She told me I should be a condom model.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
