The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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