oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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