fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
