I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
my poor anus
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
