She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
