you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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