you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
