dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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