That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
