I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found puke in my bra..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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