I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
