Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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